I really wanted to share this piece with you all because I, just like everyone else need some encouragement. Its wedding season, ‘baecation’ season, and whatever else season. If I’m allowed to be brutally honest…it gets a bit gag-worthy sometimes. Now, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE LOVE. And I love seeing genuine, true, pure love illustrated in front of the masses. That is something I look forward to sharing with my huzbin some day. But not TOday. Some of you may be thinking…but what about ME? When is it going to be my turn? When will I get to share my #MCM (is that even a thing anymore?), my engagement pictures and my wedding pictures?! I’s tired of waiting Lord!
Let me stop you there. I GET IT! I reaaaallly do. I mean, God created us for companionship. Spiritual, social, and romantic companionship. That’s not to say that everyone will get married…because not everyone will. But trust me when I say I understand your sentiments. I’m single as a dollar bill myself. 🙂 May I encourage you for a few moments? I want to share a few practical things that I do to ‘check myself’ out of idolizing relationships. In doing so, they empower me to rededicate myself to my #1 relationship. Which is with Christ! Now, I’m not here to tell you to “stop thinking about it” or to guilt you into believing the desires of your heart are sinful. I just simply want to suggest some things that may help change your perspective/focus from idolozing anything or anyone but our Creator.
I do not have all of the answers. Heck, I don’t even claim or pretend to have A LOT of the answers. I am just blessed to have a village that sees fit to pour into my spirit which allows me to grow as a woman.
Below are just a few things that are working for me, that I hope and pray will lift your spirit and help you as well!
What is driving your desire for companionship, courtship, and marriage? Is it because ‘everyone else is doing it?’ Is it because you are feeling the pressures of the ‘late-twenties-early thirties blues?’ Is it because your parents love saying, “I sure want some grandbabies” while giving you the grin and side-eye? (I love you mama…I know you mean well! Lol). If any of the above are reasons for your burning desire or envious nature, cut it. Embrace and rest in this thought: “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4 New King James Version. This is a reminder to enjoy and appreciate the time that we are able to spend with God while we can. Talking with Him, studying His word, and applying His word. Growing closer to Him daily. Being a light to the world around us. We should take pleasure in His word and His promises. While you’re at it, remind yourself of this passage as well: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” Romans 8: 28 NKJV. Things will work out for you. Perfectly. According to the will of God. And He will exceed your expectations.
Ask yourself: “Am I truly ready for what it is that I am praying and asking for?” “Would I date, court, and marry me?” For a long time, I didn’t really know what that looked like. Today, I continuously evaluate myself and compare where I am to where I was 3 months ago. 6 months ago. And so on. Am I stagnant? Am I growing? Am I growing spiritually? As a woman, daughter, sister, Christian, friend, etc? If not…I am nowhere near ready to become someone’s lifelong companion. Someone’s wife.
Am I at least actively evolving towards whole womanhood? For me, this includes several things. It includes viewing myself as a woman through the eyes of God, NOT the world. And being made whole in that truth. It also includes actively seeking and pursuing my God-ordained purpose. This includes pursuing my post-graduate degree in social work and relaunching Own Your Peach. It even includes strengthening my relationship with those around me, my loved ones. Think about what this looks like for you. Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 reminds us that there is a time, place, and a season for everything. This includes the season of singleness you are currently in. No matter what season we are in, we must take full advantage of using it to its full potential to please God.
*Realize and embrace the beauty of the NOW*
Instead of dwelling on what I do not have or what I want in the future, I am learning to live by this principle: I will continue seeking and walking in my purpose. My husband will find me along the way. I believe the same is true for you as well, friend. Mainly because God already has a plan for our lives. Through faith and obedience, things will manifest themselves in His perfect timing. This applies to every aspect of our lives. Not just romance. Jeremiah 29: 11 teaches us that God wants only what is best for us: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” NKJV. Knowing this truth, we can rest in and fully embrace the now, because God has already worked it out!
I hope and pray that these little truths encourage you on your journey, as we journey together!