I’m Not Saving Sex for My Husband
You read that correctly. I am not saving sex for my husband. You may be wondering, “has this girl lost her mind?” I can assure you…I have not lost my mind. Allow me to explain!
For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body [g]and in your spirit, which are God’s.
1 Corinthians 6:20
For as long as many of us can remember…there has been this narrative of “giving your husband a precious gift on your wedding night.” I would be lying if I said I have never agreed with or validated this phrase. However, I never truly identified with it. It was just something that culture has convinced us to be the ‘goal.’ It was just something that women have been told for centuries that they should look forward to ‘giving their husband a precious gift that she has never given to anyone else.’
But what if I said, that culture’s design isn’t really telling the full story about God’s design? Stay with me here.
If we were all bought with a price. If we are all (male & female) called to glorify God in our body and our spirit because He resides in us. Then, everything we do should be done with that in mind. Every thought we have should be thought with the intention of bringing glory to Him. Including keeping sex within the holy confines of marriage (yes, this goes for men too).
For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.
You see, God is pleased when we not only say that we love Him. But He is also pleased when we obey His word. Have you ever been in a relationship where the person constantly said, “I love you!” But their actions showed otherwise? There was not an ounce of patience, gentleness, kindness coming from them? They always held grudges and kept track of the good and bad things you did? Well, if we are honest…we can find ourselves doing the same thing to God!
He who has my commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.
Don’t get me wrong. Obeying God often has its reward. However, the one reward that truly matters, above any earthly gain or any earthly relationship, is the one that ends in us spending eternity with God.
Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.
You may be asking, “well, if you’re abstaining from sex outside of marriage, aren’t you by default ‘saving sex for your husband?” Kind of. But, I am not doing it to ‘reward’ my husband with something that he didn’t do anything to ‘earn’ or ‘work for’ in the first place. Because he doesn’t have to. Choosing to save sex for marriage is just one decision that I am making to honor God. Not because I am ‘waiting’ to give my husband a ‘precious gift.’ Because my value and worth are not tied to that. It is tied to who I am in Christ.
The same way we seek to please God in other areas of our Christian walk; whether it be spending time with Him in prayer and studying His word. Or worshiping Him with fellow Christians, loving others, serving others, striving to live honorable lives, and so much more. ‘Waiting’ is just an extension of that.
And that is who I am seeking to please. God. And God alone. Not my husband (who is still out there BTW. if anyone has seen him, let him know I’ve been waiting for him to find me lol!)
Anywhoo, I really hope this encouraged you! I can’t tell you how many thoughts run through my mind throughout the day…thoughts of ways to encourage girls and women to tie their value to Christ, alone. Not in who society has said you are supposed to be. Not who your past says you were. Always remember: No matter where you are on this journey. No matter how many times you’ve fallen. God still loves you. You are still precious in His eyes. And you can still ‘wait’ for Him.