Girl, take back your power.
Wait…do you even realize that you’ve lost it? Well, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you ever find yourself changing who you are because of the actions of others?
Do you have a laundry list of expectations of others?
When (not if…but WHEN) they fail to meet these unspoken and unwritten expectations…how often do you find yourself storing up resentment and keeping score of just how many more chances they have to get you ‘messed up?’
Is your ‘cut-off’ game so strong that you aren’t even open to the possibility of God bringing and creating valuable relationships in your life?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions…let me just say…I GET IT! Totally. People will have you ‘messed up’ throughout life. But if we are quick to change who we truly are because of the failures of others…we can’t really expect to reach our full potential.
You see, we are called to be the light of the world.
You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven” Matthew 5:14-16
This verse is alll the reminder we need that we cannot allow ourselves to be changed by our circumstances. In this case, giving our power (light) to other people by acting off of our emotions. Cuz…y’all know that’s what it is right? I mean, we are human. We have feelings. We are not robots. We can’t always ignore the things that are going on around us. But, what we can do is approach the questions I posed initially from a different place.
Instead of changing who you are because of the actions (or lack of action) of others, I want to share
5 practical steps you can take to start taking back your power today:
1. Give them grace and understanding.
Don’t get me wrong. This does not mean allowing people to treat you all kinds of ways and you just sit back and take it. Nah. I just mean…perhaps. Just perhaps, they mean well. They genuinely want the best for you. But, they aren’t quite equipped to offer you the best you desire or feel like to deserve. Sometimes, that’s just life. So, be the example. You may be the only example that they will witness of what it truly means to be a Christian. That doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It just means that you are willing to put aside being right or angry…for the sake of Christ. Shoot, as much grace as we receive everyday from God…I’m sure we all have some to spare.
2. Release your expectations
I promise you will be less disappointed. And you will be better equipped to meet people where they are. Which is just an extension of giving grace and understanding. You can have expectations for how you will be treated. And you should NEVER settle for less than the respect you deserve and desire. God don’t make junk and you shouldn’t allow yourself to be treated as such! Instead, when they fail, just remember they are human…just like you. And if you can see they truly are doing their best to do right by you…cut them some slack. 🙂
3. Initiate and have those uncomfortable conversations
You’re probably saying to yourself, “girl no, I hate confrontation.” Well, welcome to the club! lol Most people don’t “enjoy” confrontation. Okay…MANY people don’t enjoy it. But, it is necessary if we want to grow, build more intimate relationships, and release that tension, stress, and burden that often comes with not having those conversations. That’s why I shared release your expectations. Because when you do this, you operate and communicate solely in your truth. And it isn’t dependent on anyone else or how anyone else response. Do you know how much power is in that alone?!
4. Discernment: Necessary boundaries vs being a cut-off champion
I’m going to keep this part as short as I can. Because I could really go all day discussing the term boundaries, how it is OVER-USED, mis-used, and often mistakenly taken out of context. If we really think about it…even Jesus had ‘boundaries’. Yes, He was available to everyone in terms of salvation, healing, preaching, teaching, etc. But, when it came to His day-to-day living…His disciples were His people! His tribe. While the church should be our tribe/community. It doesn’t always look/work out that way. Because…again…humans are flawed.
So, when you find yourself experiencing conflict…losing your God-given power…pray for discernment. As God to increase your self-awareness. Ask Him to help you understand His will for every relationship in your life. Now…I say this because I used to be a cut-off champion, ok? As soon as something made me uncomfortable…I WAS OUT! Lol That’s a post for another day. Anywhoo, seek God’s will. Ask Him if it is time to have a heart-to-heart? Is it time to cut-off dead weight? Or, is it just time to create necessary boundaries that are helpful to your spiritual walk? Trust and obey His answer.
5. Pray for a heart like God’s
In the self-serving society that we live in…it’s sooo easy to have a hard heart. It’s easy to refuse to let anyone in. It’s easy to walk around with a chip on our shoulder. HUNTY. I know first-hand. But…guess what? There is sooooo much freedom in taking. back. your. power. Don’t allow the world to make you hard. If you have a gentle heart…remain that way. Do NOT…I repeat…DO NOT give others the power to change who you are deep down. Do not give others the power to change who GOD created you to be.
What are some other steps you can take to begin taking back your power? Let me know!