Categories
Spiritual Journey

But what about me?

Hey everyone!

I really wanted to share this piece with you all because I, just like everyone else need some encouragement.  Its wedding season, ‘baecation’ season, and whatever else season.  If I’m allowed to be brutally honest…it gets a bit gag-worthy sometimes.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I LOVE LOVE.  And I love seeing genuine, true, pure love illustrated in front of the masses.  That is something I look forward to sharing with my huzbin some day.  But not TOday.  Some of you may be thinking…but what about ME?  When is it going to be my turn?  When will I get to share my #MCM (is that even a thing anymore?), my engagement pictures and my wedding pictures?!  I’s tired of waiting Lord!

Let me stop you there.  I GET IT!  I reaaaallly do.  I mean, God created us for companionship.  Spiritual, social, and romantic companionship.  That’s not to say that everyone will get married…because not everyone will.  But trust me when I say I understand your sentiments.  I’m single as a dollar bill myself. 🙂 May I encourage you for a few moments?  I want to share a few practical things that I do to ‘check myself’ out of idolizing relationships.  In doing so, they empower me to rededicate myself to my #1 relationship.  Which is with Christ! Now, I’m not here to tell you to “stop thinking about it” or to guilt you into believing the desires of your heart are sinful. I just simply want to suggest some things that may help change your perspective/focus from idolozing anything or anyone but our Creator.

I do not have all of the answers.  Heck, I don’t even claim or pretend to have A LOT of the answers.  I am just blessed to have a village that sees fit to pour into my spirit which allows me to grow as a woman.

Below are just a few things that are working for me, that I hope and pray will lift your spirit and help you as well!

*Motive check*

What is driving your desire for companionship, courtship, and marriage?  Is it because ‘everyone else is doing it?’  Is it because you are feeling the pressures of the ‘late-twenties-early thirties blues?’  Is it because your parents love saying, “I sure want some grandbabies” while giving you the grin and side-eye? (I love you mama…I know you mean well! Lol).  If any of the above are reasons for your burning desire or envious nature, cut it.  Embrace and rest in this thought: “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4 New King James Version.  This is a reminder to enjoy and appreciate the time that we are able to spend with God while we can.  Talking with Him, studying His word, and applying His word.  Growing closer to Him daily.  Being a light to the world around us.  We should take pleasure in His word and His promises.  While you’re at it, remind yourself of this passage as well: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” Romans 8: 28 NKJV.  Things will work out for you.  Perfectly.  According to the will of God.  And He will exceed your expectations.

*Readiness/Purpose check*

Ask yourself: “Am I truly ready for what it is that I am praying and asking for?”  “Would I date, court, and marry me?”  For a long time, I didn’t really know what that looked like.  Today, I continuously evaluate myself and compare where I am to where I was 3 months ago.  6 months ago.  And so on.  Am I stagnant?  Am I growing?  Am I growing spiritually?  As a woman, daughter, sister, Christian, friend, etc?  If not…I am nowhere near ready to become someone’s lifelong companion.  Someone’s wife.

Am I at least actively evolving towards whole womanhood?  For me, this includes several things. It includes viewing myself as a woman through the eyes of God, NOT the world. And being made whole in that truth. It also includes actively seeking and pursuing my God-ordained purpose.  This includes pursuing my post-graduate degree in social work and relaunching Own Your Peach.  It even includes strengthening my relationship with those around me, my loved ones. Think about what this looks like for you.  Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 reminds us that there is a time, place, and a season for everything.  This includes the season of singleness you are currently in.  No matter what season we are in, we must take full advantage of using it to its full potential to please God.

*Realize and embrace the beauty of the NOW*

Instead of dwelling on what I do not have or what I want in the future, I am learning to live by this principle: I will continue seeking and walking in my purpose.  My husband will find me along the way.  I believe the same is true for you as well, friend.  Mainly because God already has a plan for our lives.  Through faith and obedience, things will manifest themselves in His perfect timing.  This applies to every aspect of our lives.  Not just romance.  Jeremiah 29: 11 teaches us that God wants only what is best for us: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” NKJV.  Knowing this truth, we can rest in and fully embrace the now, because God has already worked it out!

I hope and pray that these little truths encourage you on your journey, as we journey together!

Farkarwa ❤

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Categories
Spiritual Journey

Girls with Pearls; Guys with Ties

Hey!

Last weekend, I had the HONOR of conducting part of a workshop titled: “Girls with Pearls’ Guys with Ties.”  This workshop was geared toward young girls and young men ages 8-17.  The pearl reference is to show the girls the correlation between the priceless, incomparable value of pearls, and the value of themselves.  The title of our segment was “Remaining Pure in an Impure World,” where we presented Own Your Peach.  It had been quite some time since I allowed God to use me in this way, so I was somewhat nervous.  However, that was eliminated the moment we arrived!!

For the elementary school age girls, we had the girls create self-portraits.  The point of this was to get them to see how they view themselves, and why.  It was also to remind them of the importance to see themselves the way God sees them, beautiful inside and out.  The early adolescent period is crucial for a girl’s emotional and psychological development.  We must dig deep and consistently reinforce positive, healthy self-concepts.  They need to be reminded of their worth and value, especially because images they see in the media fails to do this.  The third point of this exercise was to show them that how we view ourselves, whether good or bad, impacts our lives at school, with family, friends, etc.  At the end of the activity, we had the girls present their self-portrait in front of the rest of the group.  This was great to see because initially, the girls were apprehensive about speaking in front of the large group.  But it was amazing to see the encouragement that they showed one another throughout this unfamiliar process.

The middle school girls had a different activity.  We played a unique game of BINGO.  Some of the BINGO pieces said things like “believes sex is a bad thing,” “believes that God loves us no matter what,” and “loves chocolate.”  The point of these BINGO pieces was to open up and encourage a conversation between the girls and their mothers about sex, abstinence, and purity.  That is one of the goals for Own Your Peach.  Not just to encourage abstinence, but to create a community that encourages open dialogue between young girls and women about the struggles they face.  This BINGO game was successful because everyone left encouraged, light-hearted, and empowered to continue the conversation.

Finally, we met with the high school girls, where the conversation got deep.  We discussed bullying, premarital sex and the emotional consequences, and the importance of positive relationships among young women.  We also dialogued about Own Your Peach’s up-and-coming website relaunch, goals and events.  We also discussed the mission of Own Your Peach which seeks to meet girls and women at whatever life stage they are in; regardless of their religious affiliation or lack thereof.  The girls also had an opportunity to share their input regarding what services and outreach programs they would benefit from through Own Your Peach.  This part of the workshop was especially powerful because myself and one of our other mentors had the opportunity to share our personal experiences coming into adult womanhood.  We always seek to empower, encourage and provide a safe, transparent, relatable space for the girls to belong and connect.

Although I always seek to be an encouragement to the girls we are privileged to meet.  However, they never cease to amaze and encourage me to continue striving to be the best version of myself.

Until next time…check out some pictures below from our successful event.  The remaining photos are posted on the Own Your Peach website.

All in all, God graced us with a successful event and we CANNOT WAIT for the official relaunch of the website!! Stay tuned. Hit follow and be the FIRST to know!

Elementary-age girls 🙂

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Middle school-age ladies 🙂

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We love silly pics! Some of us anyway. lol

High school ladies in deep thought…

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High school ladies with one of the grandmothers/gracious event hosts

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Final silly pic 🙂

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Farkarwa